pokka

dear all my babes :)

huaaahh,,

its been soooo long that i've made this blog,,

but never post anything here hehe :p

well,, i want to share my experience and the journey of what am i now.

sometimes, you would envy on somebody that got a better luck from you (well at least in your point of view). how that person got better way, better result, or better anythings that could make you feel like your life is damn hell yeah or sucks.. yes it happened to everybody. it feels like your next door grass is greener than yours but actually its same.

that's what sometimes happen to me as well. now im in the last semester (read:eight) of accounting degree. emm, for some people, doing what you don't like but your parents like is soo,,,yeah you name it as you like :D. i never find any this wide gap before. i mean, usually i am a 'mom and dad's daughter' that always obey and try doing what they like. this selection of faculty also. but in the end, i didn't find my soul in it. i feel like so hard to finish this degree, and i realize that; i dont have any passion in it. but i HAVE TO finish this. however, i should finish what i've been started. :)

and you know, i find so hard way to finish this degree. i started my thesis since march or april 2012, and until now, its haven't finish.. you know, watching your friend graduated before you is like stick a huuuge knife to your bone..heheheh :p.

but i dont know why, my paradigm is changing a bit. this long waiting moment and temptation; waiting for lecturer for consult, changing thesis title over and over again, hard days in convince my parents that i will graduated soon, and so on - its like my turning point. usually i will mad, stress or anything. but this time, its like introspection for me. i recall all my bad habits that until now i cant change (yet). for example like do anything in a rush injury time (assignment, test,etc) and fortunately i still got awesome score even i didn't do on purpose. or pooh -pooh with huge things that usually i still can do it and got awesome result also..

yes, this time is my turning point. to realize what bad things that i could change...

i feel so great that im not only finish this thesis, but i also watching in big screen all my mistakes.. its soo awkward :) im so grateful also that i've given all this problems, because after i recall all memories, yes i should change. to be better person insyaallah :)

god is soo kind to me that after hits me with all these problems, He hugs me by showing many things - mostly bad things - that happened to someone else. it seems that God teach me how to fee grateful even in baddest situation. its like you don't need to have that worst experience to learn. you can learn from someone else story.. and feel grateful of what u've got :)

so, i call this thesis as unexpected gate, that assist me to learn many things,, and of course to stay positive no matter what happen. because if we still have choices, many people out there DONT have any choices.

yes,,, Allah is always kind to me,,,,

subhanallah :)

xoxoxoxo

Fatma*cantiks*rosyida azhari